|
What do you wish your spouse knew? |
|
Written by Kimberly Gray
|
|
Friday, 16 May 2008 |
It's now wedding season, and more and more engagement and wedding announcements are in the paper. Each time I read one it takes me back to my wedding day almost 10 years ago.
For those of you who are married, do you remember the thoughts you had going through your head that day and the days leading up to your wedding day? I remember how happy I was to be starting a life with the man I love and excited about the new things that would bring me. I also remember really feeling like an adult for the first time.
Although I am glad to say my marriage has brought me much happiness and has definitely brought about new things into my life, there are bumps in the road that you don't expect to come across along the way - bumps that sometimes take you by surprise. For some, those bumps may jerk you right out of your seat. For others, they just may be slightly annoying.
I know that some of the smaller bumps could have been avoided in my marriage if I had only known a few things about men and if my husband had only known a few things about women - about me in particular.
I often wonder how easier things could have been at times if we had only asked each other the right questions before the glorious day our marriage began. For example, I had to learn over time that my husband doesn't really liked being attacked with questions when he walks in the door from work. He needs time to let his mind veg out a bit before I begin taking him through his debriefing for the day.
I should have figured this one out before we were married, but I'm sometimes a slow learner. Plus, I have this need to talk and share all of my daily experiences immediately like most women, especially since I became a stay-at-home mom. That's something my husband has had to learn as well. We just have to compromise a little in that area. It's not something we really sat down and talked about. We just found a middle ground somewhere, and stay there most of the time.
Maybe other wives wish their husbands knew that telling them the house looks really clean or she looks really nice every once in a while is a great way to make them happy and keep some peace. You also may have liked it if your husband knew that comparing your cooking to his mother's or to someone else's does not make you want to keep cooking for him. And how about knowing that you expect him to help you out caring for the kids because they are, in fact, his children too.
Perhaps you men would have loved it if your wife came into your marriage already knowing that making fun of you among friends or family, especially when you're in the same room, is not cool. Or maybe you would love it if she had known at the beginning how it annoys you that she takes her problems with you to her father instead of talking to you about it first.
Less seriously, perhaps you wish your husband knew how to do laundry or didn't leave the toilet seat up in the middle of the night, or you wish your wife knew that you liked Sunday afternoon naps and would remember to turn off things like ovens and stovetops and running water and lights.
Whatever they might be, for some reason you may have not bothered to sit your spouse down and tell him or her what you wish he or she knew about you or marriage in general. Maybe broaching that subject is difficult for you. That's why you wish he or she just knew. Or perhaps you simply had no idea what you expected them to know in the first place.
Unfortunately, there is so much we don't know when we start off in marriage, even when our own parents tell us some of these things or we have the opportunity to learn them from watching them. When you're young, some of those things just don't register.
That's why I would love some of the readers of my column to share what they wish their spouses knew when they married them. Perhaps they know it now, or perhaps they do not. Whatever it is - serious or silly - share it with me, and I will share it in the next column. I want to hear from both men and women.
For those who are single, you probably have things to share as well, especially if you have been in a relationship or are about to get married. I'm sure those of you who have been through a divorce would have plenty to share.
I promise I will not put your names in this column unless you want me to.
Contact me by email at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
or write it down and drop it off at the newspaper office with Ron. For those who know me, give me a call.
Maybe something you share will help someone else, or maybe it will just give us a good laugh. Both are good.
Kimberly Gray is a special correspondent for the Sweetwater Reporter. Comments about her column may be e-mailed to
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
|
|
Last Updated ( Saturday, 17 May 2008 )
|
