I’m writing because I need a woman’s point of view. I’m 47 and married to a wonderful woman who is 48. We’ve been married since college and have had our share of upsand downs but it seems like over the last few years things have settled into a sort of calm. That is until now. I should say that we have two sons who are 18 and 20.
My wife has recently become someone I don’t recognize. She’s wearing revealing clothing, is angry a lot and is really sensitive over stupid stuff. Another concern is that she’s started to drink wine almost every night. She’s not going out or disappearing so I don’t think there’s another guy in the picture. What do you think could be going on? When I talk to her she yells and then we fight, which seems like all she wants to do anyway. What do you think is going on with her?
Lost in Confusion
You have asked for my opinion and I’ll give it to you, but know that I’m not a medical professional. Your wife is at the age where it’s quite possible that this is hormonally driven behavior. The first thing I would do is to sit down with her and open up a conversation. I would tell her you expect that the two of you are capable of an adult exchange whereby no one yells, and no one cuts the other off.
If she is receptive to this then start with the positives, how much you love her, and that you are talking to her out of concern. Don’t place blame but think of this as a way to get more information. She may be drinking to reduce the anxiety and fear she’s feeling which in turn can play into the anger when it doesn’t help. There are so many alternatives to help her if hormones are the problem. The fact that she’s not going out and you haven’t mentioned any other odd behavior such as phone calls in the night, etc. I’m led to think its hormones. The most important thing right now for her to hear is that she’s not alone, and together you seek to make things better.
The next logical step is to see her doctor, get a physical and discuss the results of her tests. I know this is a challenge for you, but you did the right thing in reaching out. Good luck!
Readers, any advice? Does it sound like a hormonal imbalance to you?
Molly is a writer and business professional with years of experience in finance, business development and management. Her lifelong passion and learning has been focused on the understanding and complexity of relationships as well as effective communication. Originally from Texas she has lived in many cities including St Louis and Portland finally settling in Boston where she raised her family and received her education in Business Administration. She is now living in Texas with her family and is excited to be home. Catch her daily relationship and advice column “Molly Mason- Let’s Talk Love” on www.austin.com  and “Straight Talk” in print. You can contact Molly at firstname.lastname@example.org .